Thinking of biting the bullet

[ACJ]

Well H never did respond to my request to know why he has stopped the maintenance payments. All I really wanted to know was whether he had done it on purpose or it if was a mistake at the bank. I guess I got my answer by his silence. I did however get another letter from his L this morning about not TMing him. That must be based on the TM I sent him when H came home from his holiday b/c when I sent the one yesterday the Ls offices were closed.

So I made an appointment to see my L on Monday. She wasn't available until then. I've thought about nothing else all day (other than trying to find an extra job) and I think I'm just going to have to give H what he wants - a D. Last time we did speak he was threatening to file. I've no idea whether he has as I haven't received any papers and he hasn't spoken to me since. I don't know if my L will be able to find out from the court if he has but if he hasn't then I think I'm going to have to do the ultimate 180 and get the ball rolling myself.

I'm tired of being on the backfoot all the time. For my sanity and for my financial security I think I need to be in control. It's something I said I would never do but I really don't see what choice I have left anymore.

It won't bring him back. That's not why I'm doing it. I'm not even sure I want him back after this latest stunt. I'm really confused. All I know is that I want my life back and I want to be happy again.