Ty - I want to echo the others. If a child has at least one stable, loving parent who makes sure they feel loved...then the child will come out ok.
From my marriage (divorced now) I have a step-daughter. I raised her like my own, and I only had one baby, a boy, so having my step-daughter was a huge gift to me as I had always wanted at least one girl and one boy.
For my poor step-daughter, both her mother and her father (my ex-h) were kind of messed up in regards to child raising. Her mother more so, but my ex-h had some strange parenting things, too. Anyway, I was the only stable parent toward her out of her three parents. I never waivered in my parenting, not even when I divorced her father.
She is 24 years old now and has a daughter. She has told me so many times, how my influence as her parent made all the difference in the world to her and has made her become a great parent too. And I know this isn't just smoke. Literally, had it not been for me, that girl would have had no clue how to parent and she would have been so messed up. EVEN THOUGH I could not protect her from the horrible things that happened to her when she was in her mother's custody, and yes she is damaged by those things that happened to her, but....she has come through it all on top by having at least one stable parent.
I know divorce sucks. You will get through it. Try to view your job now as way more important than just "husband". Now you are "man" first, and "father" second. This is the correct order for you now.
Also, please don't look at it like a time in your life was stolen from you. Don't take this harsh but, you did choose to be there as long as you did, no one forced you. Now its your job to find out why you allowed that to happen to you, not to find out why "she did this to you". Big difference.
