H was controlling overbearing, domineering & I had become an angry doormat. I did a 180, I stood up & told him to F off, that he wasn't ever going to treat me that way again...then he did a 180, he became sweet, tender, caring, validating....
So, what I'm trying to say maybe is...if the LBS H has been controlling & harsh, he might want to 180 & be super nice, whenever the W approaches him, don't chase her though. She may be already afraid, even though he's never seen it.
Hey SmartCookie
I just wanted to pop on your thread and say thanks.
As my perspective starts to "stabilize" with my wife, I find myself going back to your threads and reading....trying more and more to grasp what my wife was feeling...and MAY be feeling now, after the change in the way I treat her.
I have a little trouble wrapping my brain around the similarities of our situations sometimes, since it is me that is the possible LBS and the one that read DR, but your words, I believe, are the closest I can come to seeing inside her head and what she felt for so many years.
My W never said F OFF, in so many words.....she just quietly cried and I had to ask her what was wrong.....and still I had to pull the words from her mouth.....just say it...PLEASE.
Your words give me hope. Your anger slowly going away. You watching and listening to your H and seeing his changes and trusting him again.
