Yes, you can recover from this, but no it won't be easy. It may help you to read Chapter 10 in DR, and I personally found a book called After the Affair very helpful.
The porn is a complex issue. It can be as serious an issue as you can read about in a thread (this section) about sexual addiction.
At some point, you will need to find out what it was that was your contribution to allow room for another person to come between you and your wife.
Porn and intimacy problems seem to go hand in hand. This may have no bearing on your sitch, but if you were to listen to a spouse talk about sex with a mate that has major intimacy problems, you'd hear about what it is like to feel sad and lonley DURING and AFTER what should be making love. Add to that knowing that your man is putting his energy into sexual fantasy, while you are feeling starved for emotional connection and intimacy, porn can seem like just as much a threat and betrayal as an affair.
If you suspect that any of this could possibly apply, sit down and rally talk to your wife about it.
If this has no possible bearing, forgive my intrusion and disregard....
