How do I get beyond my W's infidelity

[smokry]

I am to blame for all this because I looked at porn and broke her heart, but yet she stopped meeting my emotional needs by not being physical with me for a long time before I started the porn thing.

My husband and I have been married for 8 years. Up until last year (when we seperated for 6 months)he spent 3 to 5 days a week drinking in bars after work. He says he's too strong to be tempted and he was just going to relax...Anyway- he did meet someone and got to know her well enough to exchange phone numbers with her. One night he went to her house and didn't come home until 4am. He CLAIMS that nothing happened and that he realized he was in the wrong place so he left. Now- I think he's full of crap but on the off chance that I believe him(which I don't)...I still feel like he cheated on me even if they didn't have sex. If the thought was in his head and he was lusting after someone else..then he cheated in his heart. (Actually, that's also in the bible) To me, looking at porn is being unfaithful to your wife. Whether it's a physical or emotional affair- cheating is cheating...Last year I had an EA with someone and it got a little physical near the end before all hell broke loose...Now- my husband seems to think that what I did is FAR worse than what he did. After all- I had a EA that lasted several months and he only spent 7 years in the bars (while I was taking care of the kids)and he only went to someone's house once and of course nothing happened. So- he feels like he hasn't done anything so bad as to deserve what I've done to him! Anwayz..I'm rambling but the point is- maybe you need to look at the porn for what it is/was...which is an emotional affair that took you away from your wife. Just my two cents...

Sandra