Hi I can't tell you what is right in your situation but when my sister left my brother-in-law for another man she knew that my BIL was totally there for her and would take her back at any time. Personally I don't think that's too attractive.
Even after she left him and the boyfriend broke up with her, she called BIL to pitch her woes and he was a generous and kind ear. She described him to me as being "a good friend." (Then the boyfriend and she got back together.)
When she got her nose job for her new honey, BIL took care of the kids in her home, got them ready for school while she recuped.
I think this kind of behavior puts you in the pathetic friend zone knowing that you will always be there, you will always be waiting for her and you will always take her back whenever she's done sleeping with someone and falls.
My sister is now engaged to the OM and I believe that if she came crawling back to BIL he would take her and I believe she senses this too although we have never discussed it, just my sense.
It seems the only time your W either flirts and comes on to you, pursues you is when she is not sure where she stands. Same with her raging on you. Either way she is trying to get you to do something which is sticking by her. But when she is secure of that, she flies away. If you use this formula perhaps you can behave in the way that keeps her around, whether it's trying to get you back or getting angry at you for not being there; I believe either is better than being the water boy on call.
