Thanks so much you guys for all the great advice! Kris, I'm totally going to check out that book.
Cookie... yeah, I think I've blown the sex thing! LOL
The major complaints he had are all things that have already been fixed or well on their way (he's even admitten that). The big hurdle is that he doesn't feel anything for me, and can't imagine ever loving me again. All the "stuff" that got us here is really fixable, and much lead to an undiagnosed depression that I'm pretty sure was in after my 2nd D. I'm hoping with time he will come to see that the person he fell in love with is still here. I was sick temporarily, didn't treat him well during a very stressful (lots of other family stuff going on) 2 years, and will just give it time to renew.
Well, he didn't end up coming tonight. HE was on call tonight and literally got called out right at the end of his regular day, so he went right onto a sex assault scene and is still there. Anyway......... so the girls were very sad. HE sounded really bummed too. So he'll probably now come tomorrow or thursday to make up for it. Probably good to have a night off after our last 3 "busy" nights. LOL
Now trying to debate sending a little goodnight text message or not? Nothing big. Just thought I might send a message like. "Don't work to hard! Goodnight".
What do you think?
Chris
__________ Me:39 H:39 D:8 D:4 M:9 (T 13) Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08, Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09 Still doing GREAT a year later!!!
Today is another day. I'm going to take my girls to a museum we are members at today. It's supposed to be killer hot, so an inside airconditioned activity will be nice!
I'm also still killing myself in the job hunt, and it's just not looking good. I wish I knew what was going to happen with us. I find so many great part time jobs, or jobs that pay, but not enough for me if I'm on my own trying to keep this house. I know no matter what happens I'm going to go back to work, and it will be good for us for a variety of reasons. But the income could vary more if we are still together vs. me on my own.
I HATE not knowing what is going to happen in my life. I also still have not found daycare for the girls yet, which is another huge stressor. UGH.
Chris
__________ Me:39 H:39 D:8 D:4 M:9 (T 13) Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08, Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09 Still doing GREAT a year later!!!
All of these are good and positive. Take baby steps, not giant leaps. Keep praying, and while you are at it pray for me.
Hugs.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Chris...I am beginning to realize that just because they don't respond doesn't really mean anything here or there...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Chris, some times it's a day at a time, some days it's an hour at a time, some hours it's a minute at a time.
Hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Oh, & Lola is right, there were hundreds of times H sent me something, e-mail, text, message, & I didn't respond at all, yet inside, it meant something.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
I just read your thread and feel like we were with the same person. H is in law enforcement (seems like a lot of people with similar stories have spouses in law enforcement). Anyway, H admits I've changed, but thinks it's "too late". Says it wouldn't be fair to me for him to suggest there is any hope. It always feels like a dagger in my chest when he says things like that. At any rate, I have a question for you. Do you ever start to feel very angry at H and even begin to think "I DON'T EVEN WANT THIS GUY ANYMORE!"? I am really struggling with these thoughts. My mind goes from I love him so much to I cannot believe he did this to me. If you have those feelings how do you keep them in control when around H? I am asking because he is going to drop of daughter in a bit and is staying for dinner. Originally, I was happy about it, but now I'm pissed because he's over an hour late.
