How to tell the kids

[7 Year Itch]

Ugh, it's so hard. Tell the kids we were separating was by far the hardest thing we have done.

Our C advised us to do it together. to plan what we were going to say together so we were on the same page, and showed a "united front". We did not bring up the D word during our talk, but explained that Daddy was going to be moving out, and we were going to be taking a "time out" from each other for awhile. That we needed space from each other. That we both loved them, and that would NEVER change. That they should talk to either of us at ANY time about anything. It was ok to be angry, sad, confused, but that the important thing was we wanted them to talk to us, and to know we both loved them and would ALWAYS be their parents.

I hear you on wanting him to "take the heat". I did too, but ultimatly it's not what is best for the kids. There have been times during our Separation though when D6 will say things like "I miss Daddy, I want him to come home" to which I will be honest and say. "I know honey, Mommy hopes one day Daddy will come home too". I make it clear that I miss and love him still too during talks like that, but I don't say things like...... "Your Dad is causing this etc........",. I just make it known that I'm sad about the situation too.

And because we have faith, I just pray alot with her for our family to be restored and I tell her we just have to have faith that the best thing for all of us will happen, and sometimes God knows better than us.

It sucks. Plain and simple. It's been the hardest thing I've ever had to put my kids through, and I have shed numerous tears over the pain I've seen them go through. Just remind them daily you love them, Daddy loves them and that will never change, and encourage them to talk to both of you often.

Chris