The solution journal is not something I've kept. But my first entry will be:
Describe the challenging situation: My W, in the midst of the D, wants me to pay the bills. She handed me some. (I have been the sole provider till recently.....but she is getting a business off the ground.) So, do I pay the bills to please her? Or tell her to pay them? The kids live with her, so I have to pay something....
I paid the mortgage again, as usual.
But is this enabling her? I get feedback from friends (not too familiar with DBing) to let her get a dose of reality.
2. Describe in action-oriented terms how you handled the situation:
Well, I paid the minimum on two of the credit cards. And transferred the debt on another to my account. Paid the water bill. And the mortgage. And MY rent.
3. Describe your partner's immediate reaction:
I haven't talked to her yet. She is not too keen on talking right now. Alien talk..... And I am trying to go dark. But it won't be long before she asks about the bills, as she is concerned about her credit rating.
There was one credit card where you get points for each purchase. She wanted to keep the points; I wanted to close out the account. I called and found out that the points are not transferrable. So I will wait till they hit the minimum amount to generate the coupon (Target) and then close out the account.
This financial stuff is scaring her. And she is afraid of me. So I am trying to work with her to let her feel more comfortable.
Of course, I don't know how we will make ends meet. Wish she could make ME more comfortable!
