Does a WAW want you to fight for them?

[abgiles]

First Post Here. I've been reading for a few days, and just got my profile approved. I am really hoping for a reply from some WAW's, especially from Sandi, as she really seems to be articulate with her thougths.

My current situation is:

Wife was classic WAW, questioned why we ever got married. She asked for the D on June 21. On June 22, she opened her own checking account and found an APT 20 miles away that same day. We moved her out that following Friday. It took me a few days to stop begging her back. Of course, she got angry each time. I found a couple of on-line books and started the 180 based on their recommendation. It worked a little, but each time she called and talked, I didn't end it quickly.

I finally discovered DB and DR books, and have hired a coach (thank you Chuck!)

My problem is that she is really pushing to get this done as quickly as possible. I only have a week and a half until she is going to file (she wanted to file immediately, but I asked for a month). We have limited contact, but lately she has called more than me. I did push dinner this past Sunday, and she did not want that. I am at a critical LRT right now, and am trying to figure out if anything I can do to convince her not to file right away. She is very stubborn about everything, has the family pushing, etc... and once she files, I think won't believe that she can go back.

Chapter one of DR is us to a tee. Michelles states that reading that book, you may believe she was filming us for months. That's the case here. Having several weeks to think about our marriage, she's been trying hard for the last year to reach me. I missed all the signs, and of course now, when I want therapy, talking, one more chance, etc.. It's too little, too late. She states she has no feelings for me, doesn't love me, etc... I know she cares and there are some feelings there. I am just in a desperate last week and a half before she files and need some advice. I am reading the books over and over, setting goals, etc... but without contact, it's difficult to do things.

I know if she were to read just the first couple of chapters of DR with an open mind, she might change her mind. I know she won't accept it from me, and I don't want to manipulate the situation to get anybody else to give it to her. I am hoping she'll see some changes in me and ask what I'm doing. If she does, I'll mention the book briefly and see what happens.

I know this is about patience, but most people here that I see get months of separation prior to filing, or weeks of knowing before separation even. I had one week before separation, and I've had two weeks of that. Now we're filing soon.

Any suggestions?

I am committed to making this work, I just want her to see that.

Thanks

abgiles