Ok, I was asking about your next steps because there has to be something you are working toward, not just "waiting it out". You know there will need to be changes on both parts in order to repair your marriage.
Her WD and need for time is sooo important so that is what she is working on. You are continuing to make changes and do 180s and that is what you continue with.
SO, things to work toward: Those books- one of these days she really needs to pick them up and read those parts that pertain to her because it will help her. I know they will help you, too. You will have to gauge when/how that happens. I think you said you are leaving them out. That may be all it takes. Maybe a talk or sending her to certain pages and talking about it. You are saying no heavy R talks, so you must think it is not the right time. You only know.
I know what she means about counseling. I feel that way sometimes, too. Counseling just never seemed to help me. Maybe I never had a good counselor. I will have to tell you about Retrouvaille after this weekend and let you know how that goes and what I think. Based upon the website it is JUST what we need. You sit and listen and you DON"T share anything with ANYONE other than your spouse so that may be something that she is interested in. It's basically free, too. I remember reading how one wife did it because she liked the idea of not cooking for three days, and staying in a hotel.
Anyway, you are being very patient. Keep on being patient. DOn't give up. You will get what you need when she feels she is getting what she needs and she is able to say to herself, "I know this is where I want to be, and I know that it will be a good place to be, not the place it was before."
