Remember, STBX attempted sex again thsi past friday? Well, last night D10 said that night OW & him were fighting for maybe about an hour long, late the girls were in bed. OW's D11 started to cry and OW talked to her and calmed her down. OW heard my D10 ask her what they were fighting about and she told her D not to tell my D. I dont know if this hurt my D's feelings or if she really was just missing me but she told me she sat in her bed crying b/c she was missing me. I told her whatever time it is she can always call me.My D said all she heard was them saying F U word back & forth.
Hmmmm..... all is not so rosy in pradise & this after their annual honeymoon get away which btw he lied to me saying he went back home (carrabean) to see his dad, liar..liar, I knew he was lying...This is OW's cruise? annual vacation, she took him to last year, but htis time it included our home country.This hurt a bit. H & I never were able to get away like that w/out the kids. And why does he want sex w/ me before and after the honeymoon, didnt he get enough??
I wouldn't let that man get near you again, he's really messed up up there. I feel bad for yor d10 though, to be in the middle of their mess, hope she doesnt' stay long with them.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I guess I forget that since I dont haev to deal w/ his mess everyday.. I did like how his kisses no longer make me feel good, as I kept my mouth shut tight, he 'ordered' me to kiss him, blah..
Yep, H has said he wanted to be with me but hasn't done one thing to change what I would've wanted. For instance, giving up chatting with women and being in touch with his other women. Yes more than one OW! In fact, many over the years. I was married to a serial cheater. So, I really don't think he would change. It's not like he had some one night stand or just one affair(not that I am making light of just one if that is what happens because one is enough). He has a problem. Anyhow, he doesn't see that changing things before being with me is what I wanted or needed so forget it. Besides, he still lies about so many things that I don't think I could ever know what is the truth from him any longer.
He has said that when I cut him off completely, he got frightened that he would never have the chance to see or speak to me again and that is what made him decide to get in contact. Personally, I think he was just scared to lose the house. LOL!
Anyhow, there is of course, tonnes to my story but the gist is when I stayed away and really let him go, that is when he reached out. That is very scary for a lot of people to do here and yeah, you could still not be together but I believe it does help with some sort of closure to have them apologize and see that it wasn't really all you after all. The blame game is so easy to fall on when you are in each other's sight. Not so easy when the crutch is gone.
I finally moved out of my moms and into my own place. We went to the court mandated mediator since STBX will not budge on some things. I think it sucks that child support dosent take into consideration overtime & bonuses. H's bonuses especially at the end of the year have been as high as $6000.00!
If u guys remember, I dont have an attorney & I had signed our agreement a year ago in which I waived over my rights on just about evrything (dumb, I know) I then didnt seek any advice and was just ready to get it over with. I didnt ask for any alimony or any of his 401K. SInce then I learned my rights and changed my mind.
The mediator seperated us into different rooms and went over each page. She asked me if I wanted any alimony and if I knew his attorney would tell him to take it(only asked for $100 a month for 3 years) I would of asked for more and then worked myself way down. I figured it will cover my health insurance premium @ work. I asked the mediator if STBX argued it & she said he barked a little & then his attorney told him to take it.
I still wished for more CS, but I am glad it will cover my rent and some of my utilities.
STBX still wouldnt let go of his 401K so we have to return to pre trial for ONLY that. People tell me he will prolly lose on that, God I hope so. His 401K is his 'baby'. I asked for the standard 50%. I dont have enough on my retirement (not had it long enough).
All is good though. Life is terrific right now.
Question- to those who have kids and share summer vacations in the same state or local area-
How do u do it? At first STBX asked for 4 weeks(per our agreement, I forgot it stated that) but I didnt want to be seperated for so long from them so I said two weeks. I will get them on my regular schedule weekend(this weekend). Is this how it is normally done? STBX says he will need the break and asked me twice to make sure I was getting them. My mom thinks its dumb why not let him have them for the enitre two weeks. I dont know, but next year I will definatley let him have them for the entire 4 weeks. I am actually enjoying my free time, especially not having to make three stops to drop them off before going to work, plus I'm still unpacking.
OH.. and he still trying very hard to score sexually w/ me??? I guess the dog in him will never die.
chicki-- So glad to hear from you!! I'm not sure about the vacation...we each have 2 weeks which doesn't have to be all at once. For me, I couldn't be without my kids for 2 weeks straight. Sounds like something you can work out details with each other about, though, if it isn't outlined in the agreement. Or, bring it up during the last of the mediation (unforseen circumstances).
And you wouldn't put up with sexual harassment at work; why does he think he can get away with it with you? Tell him you'd rather not have to get a restraining order....
