I'm not in grad school, I'm taking an on line course to learn medical transcribing.
So that's where you learn the big words! My W also did this course while she was a woman of leisure (a.k.a stay at home mom) but she did nothing with it. She dabbled in about 10 other career pursuits including real estate agent, office secretary, data entry, bank teller and each interest lasted just a few months because she had the luxury of working or not.
Originally Posted By: smartcookie
Seriously tho, what would you ask him ? Ask me, I'll ask him.
I would ask him how he overcame the flight or fright instinct when under heavy attack from the W. I mean when you have a highly emotionally charged W coming at you with with a potty mouth and a bad case of PMS when you step in the door hungry and after you've just heard your division is being downsized how does he get into validate mode? How did he overcome his anger or jealously at OM? How did he learn to tune in to your emotional needs? How did he learn to say the right thing at the right time or to keep his trap shut? How did he learn to be the bigger person? How did he conquer extreme stress?
Originally Posted By: smartcookie
12 months ago, I gave H & me 2% chance of being married this year. The advantage I had was, I had DR & this site, & he would do anything to make the M work. I didn't want it to work. I wanted him to fail, then I could walk away & to an OM, & have a clear conscience.
I think it really takes both to succeed at this game. I'm willing to bet that those H's who make it into piecing after doing all 6 steps and DBing 24x7x365 will likely face big trouble again down the road unless the W also woke up to her part in the "sitch". You wanted the M to work and you were willing to do your part.
Originally Posted By: smartcookie
So, what I'm trying to say maybe is...if the LBS H has been controlling & harsh, he might want to 180 & be super nice, whenever the W approaches him, don't chase her though.
Good point. Unfortunately the typical WAW is not even 1% open to this even if the H has not been such a bad boy. Your H it seems deep down was well intended even it it came across as "controlling and harsh". If the DAM needs a 2x4 the WAW maybe needs a 2x6.
