Here's some points you can score from how I see it.
1. Apologize to her that the mediation didn't go over well for her.
2. Show sympathy and offer to pay the mortgage until you two figure things out.
3. Apologize about the drug use and tell her drugs aren't allowed in your home anymore and that you wont associate with anyone who uses them. Tell her they hurt her and your marriage and you arne't proud of that.
4. Tell her you are being the person you want to be now and that is a mature person who cares for his family and only acts in a way that will care for her and your family.
If you keep drumming in that you only want to act in a way that supports your family, she will get the hint that SHE is now the problem...she wont admit it, but it will hit home.
This is an approach I used with my W. Each time she said something hurtful I would reply with "I love you, and I will always do what is best for you and our family, that is the person I want to be."
That really started to wear her down. Its impossible tokeep hurting someone who IS so mature and loving to you. She will try for a while, but if you keep that stuff up, she will wear down and realise she's the cancer in the marriage eventually. YOU Have to work here to get all these bad spirits out of you.
Stop criticizing Stop anything childish...no sports. Start jogging instead. Volunteer at your church, your priest etc will be able to give you something to do...get real chummy with him. Talk to him like a son to a father. Show him the man in you.
Your wife does want you to grow up, shes waiting for him to get there, you are getting there, but its going to take you time and its a lot of work. There is a LOT you can do here ok?
Be happy and smile as much as you can. Don't overdo it and act childish or giddy, just show a calm positive warm contentment about you with every step. Play the father figure here...think Charlton Heston in the Ten Commandments...do that.
