It doesn't really matter if you think I am right or not. The point is when will YOU feel it's right. Trying to force yourself to go into the next stage, will only leave you some difficult to handle loose ends inside. Decide what you need, decide if he is able to give it or even better, if he is willing to give it to you, and see where that leads you. Trying to feel "you are done" will not work. I said it before, take it easy. If you feel stuck experiment with a new approach. You only know what that could be. Stay strong, I love you K
Mortgage company called me back and got all my info to start running numbers. They will call back tomorrow to let me know what I qualify for. Also heard from my friend who will be serving as my agent. He is going to set up an appt. on Thursday to go through the house I liked. I am hoping that I can get it for a good price as the owners are relocating because of work and are ready to get out. That also means I could move soon. I am still looking at other options, but this one has a dream kitchen. This is all making me a bundle of nerves, and my acid reflux is acting up. I haven't had problems with it all summer since I have been off or work, so I can definitely tell it is stress related.
On an odd not, I just got off the phone with H from an almost 40 min. call. That is a world record, I know I'm supposed to keep it short and sweet, but he was sharing info about work, something he used to do and hasn't in a long time. He was also talking to me about the house sitch and the Ds.
Time to walk the dog...I am resolving to get myself out of the house and moving and getting the Ds off the couch in the process.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
Hey there red. I know for me, it helps to think about creating a new R with W as it's almost inconceivable to turn a VW bus into a race car. I've changed so much and there is so much baggage, that I don't think it's possible for the old R to be fixed. I'm hanging in and growing and hoping W will eventually be ready to try building a new R with me. Yes, the mourning process. There is a smaller part all the time that wants the comfort and security of the old R back, even though it wasn't working for anyone. I think we often delude ourselves thinking that the old R only needed a few tweaks. Most likely, they need melted down and re-forged.
I don't know anything, but, it feels like to me that until we are divorced and seriously involved with other people, then there is hope. As often as I have them, I kill off the thought that it would be easier to quit. Just because I'm walking on air about the personal growth, I can't ever let myself forget the kids and the horrible life I lived that had roots in my parents' divorce.
Hang it there. I think you're doing a great job of things.
Letting go doesn't mean you are letting it die. It can mean you are giving it air to breathe and to see if it can live.
However, I will tell you once again that you are an amazing, strong and impressive person. Stand up for yourself. Stop taking crap from him. Start by explaining the rules to him. Make him play the game the way you want, not the way he wants.
You make this too easy on him. Way too easy.
Maybe it's time for the 4x4
Be the person you know you can be. Make your daughter's proud of you.
Great news....I got pre-approval on a mortgage. I am going back with my agent friend on Thursday look more closely at the house I really like. Hopefully all will look good, if so I will probably make an offer. Funny how things change so quickly. Last week at this time I was waiting for H to find his own place, now I am looking for a new place for the Ds and me. How is that for moving on?!
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
Good for you!!! Let this development bring excitement into your life and your Ds' lives. Use "this new house" thing as a way to look into the future positively. Get rid of the misery he brings into your present. You are in charge. He can feel miserable for himself all he wants (if he does). You don't need that anymore. Show him what he is giving up. You are strong, you can do whatever you want. Your Ds are watching you, give them the best role model possible. Love ya K
God I am excited about your new house!! I envy you and Bbj for this "new start"...
