Trixi trying to find moorage

[NikB]

(((Trixi))))

OK this is out of order but first things first -

Gosh, Nik, I hope you don't write me off. Really, I SO appreciate your advice, I don't want you to think I don't!

Not for a second!! And you can't get rid of me that easy. (just ask my H )

I really do care about you and want to see you happy. I hope the advice helps but I completely understand that you have to take what works, and leave behind what doesn't! And it's sometimes hard to read "reality" from just a few words or paragraphs, so I know I may be reading things in that just aren't there.

Hmm..well, I feel like I am getting tired of "waiting", but will wait awhile longer because I don't want to look back and think I quit too soon.
With regard to waiting for him to entertain me- I think I should clarify something. As an introvert, too much "going out" burns me out- fast. I like to do things with people, etc, but my need for that is actually pretty low compared to most of the world.

This makes sense to me. I'm actually pretty introverted too believe it or not. I get a lot of my "extrovert" fix at work and posting to people (here, email, etc.).

Thing is- I don't WANT to have gobs of stuff to go do. I'll leave it at that because I'm not explaining it well and I know that it won't make sense to about 75% of the population.

You are to me, actually - I understand what you mean.

I guess where I worry is that it seems, from your posts here, like you're "waiting" for H to plan your weekend time. If you're totally happy having an open-ended weekend, that's cool! I LOVE unscheduled time, too. I just get this feeling that sometimes you really DO want to go out and do something, and you wait hoping your H will plan something rather than planning something on your own. Does that make sense?

And realize please... I could be totally projecting because of myself and my sitch. If I'm way off base definitely tell me.

I just want to flesh out the story so you can see that it wasn't a sitch where he absently mindedly said "hmmm...camping..." and I jumped up and said "Oh camping? great- let's go to this campsite- and don't worry- I'll make the reservations- I'll take care of it all". It was more collaborative than that.

Great!!! I'm glad to hear this. Thanks for the additional details, as yes it does help. I'm glad it was more of a collaborative thing. And given that, even more excited that you have plans so far out in the future. And I like how he was really visualizing it in his head, too - envisioning a future with you? Definitely a good thing.

I've been looking around for a sitch closer to yours where there truly isn't an OW. It's odd how few of those you see. You can find WAW threads from women who want "out" but don't have an OM, but I haven't found any yet from Hs. I don't mean this to be discouraging at all - I just mean it's surprising how hard it is to find a sitch really close to yours. Like I mentioned I think mine is pretty close, but still not quite the same. You may be right that the band is the OW in your case... I have often felt like cars were the "OW" in mine. I'll keep looking though.

On Retro - I agree with Sara - just don't mention the 20 minutes a day. I wouldn't mention anything to him that you haven't learned from the Retro website, honestly. He doesn't need to know details at this point.