(((((Woog))))) I hate to sound like a broken record, but I have missed you too. John is right about the change, both good and bad. I could hear my 10 year old saying the same thing as your's did. My T and a friend have both told me if the kids don't know who did what yet, they will figure it out someday. I'm sure your kids know how hard you tried, and obviously they know what a great dad you are.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
I am glad everybody says they've missed you because I can express my love for you easier and just "blend in"- but then again, everybody knows already...
It must have felt good to hear your son tell you it's boring without you... Kids always speak the truth.
You sound like you are handling this pretty well now. Lets both hope that the two of us dont get hammered to badly financially. It is just not right and seems like a punishment if our W's get a huge financial gain from us.
I think one must look at the long term future in regards to what the kids think of what happened. It would be wrong to tell them that the blame is on your W as they need to love and respect both parents. However, you can set a good example for them in your next relationship and hopefully they will learn that it takes work to keep the love alive in a marriage. I dont want my kids to ever have to go through a divorce themselves and hopefully this tragedy may influence their future married lives.
It would be wrong to tell them that the blame is on your W as they need to love and respect both parents.
I struggle with what is right and wrong to do here. Its hard to let kids believe that any behavior by the W is OK - for example shacking up with an OM, the W letting them do whatever they want, etc. I've also heard the "they will ultimately figure it out" argument but who wants to wait 10-15 years for them to figure out these things if at all they figure it out. They may be absorbing "immoral" behaviors (like lack if commitment, infidelity, etc.). Maybe just MY fears.
It would be wrong to tell them that the blame is on your W as they need to love and respect both parents.
I struggle with what is right and wrong to do here. Its hard to let kids believe that any behavior by the W is OK - for example shacking up with an OM, the W letting them do whatever they want, etc. I've also heard the "they will ultimately figure it out" argument but who wants to wait 10-15 years for them to figure out these things if at all they figure it out. They may be absorbing "immoral" behaviors (like lack if commitment, infidelity, etc.). Maybe just MY fears.
I imagine that Woogs D12 is old enough now to know what infidelity is and has already formed her own opinion towards her mother. I read somewhere that daughters grow up and look for a husband that is similar to their father. If this is the case, Woogs daughter is going to have a good marriage.
I too struggle with the fact that my D5 (soon to be D6) thinks it is cute that mommy has a boyfriend. I have been instructed to not tell her that adultery is wrong. I dont know what my S7 (soon to be S8) thinks as he keeps his emotions bottled up. I think he likes OM, but deep down I know he wants his mom and dad back together.
I suspect that Woogs boys are having a real tough time with the possibility of having a step-father and step brothers/sisters.
My boys and my daughter are all having a hard time with the "nick" situation. My stbx actually called off the dinner with he and his kids because my kids threw a fit and told her they didn't want to meet him. I guess it was pretty ugly and my guess is she didn't handle it well, because I am still hearing about it.
I'm really trying to be careful around her for a few more weeks and not rocking the boat. I want to get the divorce behind me. I will admit that I am being selfish in a way. I want this done and over for me. I need it to be done.
Well then I hope the next few weeks fly by for you just to make your life easier.
I must say, I feel really badly for your kids... your wife is such a disaster that she is pushing things on your kids long before they are ready... and definitely before it's appropriate.
I know I've said it before, as have others, thank God your kids have you!
Today was a huge day at work for me. While I should be more modest I have to say I knocked the cover off the ball.
However, I am feeling down. I realized that I can't share this with the woman I love. I can't hold her in my arms and tell her about my day. I can't celebrate with her and have a special evening.
Hey Woog, You don't have a selfish bone in your body. You are happiest when people around you are happy. I recognize the symptons. I don't know what your STBX was like prior to the bomb but I can tell you without hesitation that the person she is today does not deserve you. You are still looking out for her in spite of all the manure she has shovelled your way. You are a good man and you will find someone who will appreciate what you do for her. hell, she may even reciprocate once in a while. J210 PS that last paragraph sounds like you are still in love with STBX.....you know what, that would not surprise me one bit. I told you i recognize the symptons.
