SC, How's your book writing project going? What are you studying in grad school? This is all about communication and curing NFC disease between (almost) DAMs vs. WAWs. I think the MLCs are a different breed. Someday if you can get your H to join in here wouldn't that be something for all of us learn from ? Most of the H's here want to save the M but they are not given ANY chance by the WAW ;-).
Hi, thanks for asking. Um, the book project is still rattling around in my brain. I'm not in grad school, I'm taking an on line course to learn medical transcribing. So, on days like today, when H is out of town, & my kids are all pre-occupied with their friends (I had 7 boys in the pool a while ago) I can get a lot done. I work at my own pace, so I learn a little, & jump to DB, & back to learning, etc, stir, repeat. lol
*giggle* I taught H everything he knows about relationships & women. You want to learn it from him, or me ? Seriously tho, what would you ask him ? Ask me, I'll ask him. He's not joining here (he would if I asked), but, this is my private sanctuary.
12 months ago, I gave H & me 2% chance of being married this year. The advantage I had was, I had DR & this site, & he would do anything to make the M work. I didn't want it to work. I wanted him to fail, then I could walk away & to an OM, & have a clear conscience.
lightbulb going off here.....
The most attractive that I ever was to H, is when he thought I was walking into another man's arms. I think that's why it's soooooooo important to GAL. All those years when I was committed to our marriage, he wouldn't change to make me happy. Then, when he thought I was gone, he did backflips to keep me. He walked those 6 steps towards me every single day for 13 months. I didn't budge to move an inch toward him until a few weeks ago.
H was controlling overbearing, domineering & I had become an angry doormat. I did a 180, I stood up & told him to F off, that he wasn't ever going to treat me that way again...then he did a 180, he became sweet, tender, caring, validating....
So, what I'm trying to say maybe is...if the LBS H has been controlling & harsh, he might want to 180 & be super nice, whenever the W approaches him, don't chase her though. She may be already afraid, even though he's never seen it.
If the LBS W has been a doormat, she might want to 180, & say, "I'm done with you treating me this way, you want to leave, don't let the door hit you in the *ss".
I even 180'd our finances. H had always had the final say on major purchases. Last summer when I could give a flying leap, he suggested a pool. I said no. LOL Threw him for a loop. Then he suggested 4 wheelers. I said no. Then he wanted a gun (WTF?) we're fighting like crazy, & he wants a gun, not just no, H*ll NO ! I'd never said no to him before. It was really good for us.
well, dang, that rambling was cleansing for me. LOL (It also counts as typing practice for school hours, lol)
take care
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Seriously tho, what would you ask him ? Ask me, I'll ask him. He's not joining here (he would if I asked), but, this is my private sanctuary. 