Upside Things are moving along your H does seem like he is getting closer and realizing more that is very hopeful just keep taking care of you you are doing a great job here peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Hi IMP, breton, na & peace- I am trying to continue on the road of no expectations but sometimes it gets a little more difficult. My H and I went out again last night...dinner and a movie. My H is making more of an effort to spend time with me although there is really no talk of planning anything beyond the very near future. We keep talking about trips we would like to take but nothing has been mentioned about us going anywhere together.
My H is planning on coming over this weekend to BBQ. He really wants to have a get together for my D since she leaves on Tuesday. He is going to buy the food and cook...he is a great cook...one of the things I really love about him.
There are some things that are still bothering me. My H is going to a bachelor party for the whole weekend next week and my H keeps talking about going on trips with his D but can't plan anything with me. I am biting my tongue and trying to be patient...I do sense that we are working toward a weekend away together...uh oh, there is an expecation! I am thankful that every time before my leaves me now, he will talk about the next time he will see me...he even brought up that we have C next week. I think we are making baby steps forward...I just need to prepare myself for those backward steps.
Hi Upside! Your post made me smile! He is moving along slowly, but in the right direction. A trip away with you may seem overwhelming for him right now, so you should probably continue to wait for him to suggest it and focus on the positives (do I say that every time? )
As hard as we all work to keep the expectations down, that's a tall order. It must be hard for you esp with some of the convos about trips and such. I know you can do it though. Look at how far you've come. Your referal to the backwards steps reminds me of when my D's learned to walk. They took lots of backwards steps and spills, but they did move forward.
I like that he refers to the next time he sees you when he leaves. Patience your grasshopper
Upside - just stopping by to check in. Thank you for visiting my thread recently. It always helps to hear encouraging words from a friend. Hang in there----it seems you have a lot of positives to focus on. Hope to be there someday............................
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
This sounds overall like a positive step on H's part! You are doing great by holding that space. He's moving in the right direction, even if it is at a snail's pace!
Hey na, Grace, di, imt and Purr- Yes, things are moving at a snails pace. I had an extrememly busy weekend with my kid's games. I am so proud of them and the committment to their teams. Anyway, yesterday my H came over to my house before I even got home. He planned the menu for the BBQ and did the grocery shopping. We always made such a great team entertaining and yesterday was the same...it felt so normal...it felt like we were together at least until everyone started to leave and my H left at the same time. I felt like he has to let everyone know that we are not back together. Oh well. During the evening, I thanked my H several times for putting the dinner together and complimented him his cooking. He seemed quite pleased with himself. Before he left, he did give me some goodbye kisses when no one could see and he did mention our C appointment today and how he has a work appointment out of town this afternoon but thought he would be able to make it back in time for his IC but it might be close. He said he would call me to let me know what is going on.
I would obviously like to see some more movement forward but I have been so busy that I haven't had much time to dwell on it. We will see what happens with the C tonight. It might be something I might need to discuss.
I am thankful that every time before my leaves me now, he will talk about the next time he will see me...he even brought up that we have C next week. I think we are making baby steps forward...I just need to prepare myself for those backward steps.