3 Yrs with H in MLC - Feeling Powerless Now

[Sanderika]

Hi all...
My H has been in a MLC for 3 years (anniv. date is 8/16/08).

I have just found this site within the past month. I have just started reading DR. I feel this book is better suited for those marriages where the spouses are still together or newly separated.

I had my 1st DB Coach session last Wed. 7/9/08. Jody was helpful but wants me to turn my H down when he initiates sex. I did that before he left me in 8/05. I won't do it again, If I turn him down that will prove to my H I have not changed at all and I have changed drastically.

I would like you to please read my previous posts, I AM IN DESPERATE NEED OF ADVICE.

I know my H is still with the OW he left me for. He loves her and not me. He does ML (or has sex) with me approx. 3-4 times a month. OW supposedly does not know he is still having sex with me. My H supports me financially. My H only contacts me approx. 1-2 times every two weeks. I do not call my H very often anymore (not even to speak of S or to speak business unless the reason is dire).

My H lives at our company. He does frequent the OW every chance he gets. I don't. think I have what it takes to get him back. My friends are telling me to D him and now. My friends tell me that H will never be back. They also tell me that H would be here if he loved me and if he wanted to be here.

MY H HAS BEEN GONE 3 YEARS...I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO DO THIS ANYMORE.

Please read my posts...My story is maybe like others but it has a lot of unique parts to it. I feel my H has taken more steps to break away than he has taken to reconcile. I do realize my H gets his advice from the OW. I do think she has a leash on him in every situation. My H usually is not a controllable man, but she has managed to control him, no question.

AGAIN, PLEASE READ MY POSTS...I NEED HELP FAST. I AM LOSING!!!!

Thank you all in advance of your time with me....

Sanderika