Thanks for the LBS perspective as well. I like the wound inference, great analogy for a nurse I wish there was something I could do to help my H decompress his anger. He does really good, then will just blow. I'm not sure where you are in reading my thread...we were doing a lot of stuff together...that all stopped in Jan/Feb of this year...he had stopped calling/texting...then got better...now has stopped that...then we had a major blow up last week; he said wanted to move forward with the D, and I needed to get over any idea of "us" working out, the only reason he hadn't moved forward was money or lack there of, and the list went on.....maybe you being a LBS could try to explain something for me....each of us have atty's on retainer, we put our D on hold May of 07, money is a factor as I invested a large amount of money in our home...that being said, why, if he truly wanted a D, hasn't he went to his atty and went forward? He works, could afford the costs for atty, and enough time has past I would not put up a fight....the only fight I want is the fight for my M.
All of that being said....I have learned a couple of things throughout this process...one, I have lost two people I loved, and do not want to lose a third....so I want to fight to restore/rebuild my R/M...but not like the one I left...a better one. 2. I could never leave again, I know words are just words, and people are judged by their history....although living on my own has been a huge learning experience...I miss coming home to him...I just plain miss him...lesson learned....3. he has the best quality in a father i could ever look for to have children with....he knew my parents...and can help me pass on memories of them to my children...no man will ever be able to possess that quality, except him; I never thought of that during the mean angry monster phase. 4. In a M, we comes before me...nuf said!!
So enough about me....are you sure your R/M is really over? Are you spiritual/religious...nosey question I know, but I have found that my faith has grown stronger during this time...and I have found some great resources out there that have helped me...if you are interested.
I hope no matter what decision you make, you find peace within yourself...that is what "this" is all about.
Have you decided when/where you are going to meet W?
take care
christa
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
I wish there was something I could do to help my H decompress his anger. He does really good, then will just blow. I'm not sure where you are in reading my thread...we were doing a lot of stuff together...that all stopped in Jan/Feb of this year...he had stopped calling/texting...then got better...now has stopped that...then we had a major blow up last week; he said wanted to move forward with the D, and I needed to get over any idea of "us" working out, the only reason he hadn't moved forward was money or lack there of, and the list went on.....maybe you being a LBS could try to explain something for me....each of us have atty's on retainer, we put our D on hold May of 07, money is a factor as I invested a large amount of money in our home...that being said, why, if he truly wanted a D, hasn't he went to his atty and went forward? He works, could afford the costs for atty, and enough time has past I would not put up a fight....the only fight I want is the fight for my M.