Oh, and one more thing...I hear your strength in your last post....hold on to that....do not let anger and hostility seep into it. Just be strong on your boundaries and what needs to happen now. You love your W, and you want to keep your marriage, but you won't let her keep seeing the OM while living with you. She needs to make a decision about something and feel some consequences.
I hope I am helpful, because I just took up so much of your posting space. !!!!!!!!
