Originally Posted By: sofaraway Brian, it is about trying different things right?
You made contact, see how she reacts in a day or so.
Why it is that we insist on instant gratification when we reach out is unknown to me since we never ever get it. It sets us up to have bad feelings one way or the other.
You stuck the proverbial olive branch out there, see what happens. Also, if this doesn't work, try something else instead. It is about seeing what works and what doesn't.
This line.....
Quote: Honestly as I said above I feel used...
I like, hurt, lonely, confused, even I miss her....used.....wtf?????
It was not about you being used, it was about her testing your reaction only you want it to be your reaction on your timeline and not hers. Who knows how long she has to watch you, who knows what she is waiting for, be patient, you lose that and you end up feeling "used".......
Where has your connection been with her Brian, what have you two done together where you feel like it has been successful? If you think through this and read back a bit in your sitch, I think you will see what has worked for you and what has not. You are allowing yoru own fears, frustration, and lack of patience to get in your head. Now stop it.......
Ian
Ian...
Yes I agree it is trying different things and then step back and monitor.
Not looking for instant gratification, but on the same hand don't ask for something you don't want or aren't ready for.
The reason why I said 'used', that's how I felt after ML, like a 1 night stand. I get it was a test nothing like going for the biggest test of all to see what my reaction will be, kinda like going before the Bar Assoc. for your orals after only 2 years of Law School, it just hurt.
If I look back the only that has worked is being dark, validating, and giving her space, that is what got results. I understand it is 'her' time frame don't have a problem with that, I have a problem with being told to do something when it wasn't what she really wanted IMO.
But then it goes back to believe 50% of what they say right? You can't expect common sense out of someone who walked out and are confused.
