I asked "what is so horrible about me that this is happening twice?" I arrived at the answer before he had a chance to say anything. It's not me. It's my choice in men.
Interesting. In retrospect, would you choose these men again knowing what you know now?
Do you know what you would choose in a man if this marriage fails? What would keep you from following down the same path and falling in love with a similar man.
You mention the difference in interests between your H and yourself. And also how OW and H have more in common with their outside interests. They say that opposites attract and that it is good to not have every thing in common. Right now, your H is attracted to OW because she is pursuing him and has a lot in common with him in activity interests. I wish she was out of the picture for you because I believe it would lift some of the fog clouding your H's thinking.
I have to say that my W's lack of interest in doing outdoor activities (which I like) is making it easier for me to get the D done. I know that the next girl friend I have will like the outdooors. Hence, I will be looking for someone with interests more like myself so that shoots down the opposites attracts theory.
