It would be wrong to tell them that the blame is on your W as they need to love and respect both parents.
I struggle with what is right and wrong to do here. Its hard to let kids believe that any behavior by the W is OK - for example shacking up with an OM, the W letting them do whatever they want, etc. I've also heard the "they will ultimately figure it out" argument but who wants to wait 10-15 years for them to figure out these things if at all they figure it out. They may be absorbing "immoral" behaviors (like lack if commitment, infidelity, etc.). Maybe just MY fears.
