Many thanks for being so open about yourself on this thread. I really do appreciate the insights you have given "us men"!
The project of reclaiming my masculinity over the last couple of years (and counting) has been the turning-point of my whole life, and has changed me in many very profound and beneficial ways. In particular, I have learned who I am cannot depend on the approval of any woman or anyone.
However, I have now reached a stage in my journey where I also recognise the danger of taking this project too far. That it is not all about me and being a strong and (fiercely) independent male, and that I need to work on other aspects of my life as well, or I could end up becoming too hard and austere. Your remark to Silly about being "combative" was a timely reminder for me as well. I think that this can wear a woman down - right? She wants to be the victory celebration, not another part of the battle?
I also thought that what you said about the importance of kissing for a woman was invaluable - something I had never fully appreciated before. I am really looking forward to putting these and other insights of yours into practice in my own marriage.
Anyway, I wanted to ask you a couple of things following on from your story.
Did you definitely regard yourself as LD in your previous marriage? When if at all, did you become HD and what was the catalyst? Or, do you not think it came down to LD/HD ultimately for you?
Another thing. You didn't really surprise me about being bisexual. I personally don't find it shocking. To my mind sexuality is a spectrum with all kinds of variations and shades in between the extremes of male-only and female-only attraction. And I think that many women and men have some kind of variation within them. But can I ask - is there any specific way your husband accommodates your attraction to women, other than him being aware and accepting of it? In other words, what if anything can straight men do for bisexual woman?
DQ - thanks again.
S&A
"A man can be destroyed but not defeated" - from The Old Man and the Sea, by Ernest Hemingway.
Which I take to mean that every man has within him a spirit of relentlessness and optimism. Its already there; he just has to cultivate it.
