Mulesqb - Can the sun shine on a donkey's a$$?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Mules,

You are a good husband and an EXCELLENT father. This DB [censored] is always easier when you're a full year removed, like I am now. Go back and read some of my early posts -- I was a mess.

You're doing fine. YOu are THERE, and you're fighting for your family. I don't see a failure; I see a man of integrity and character.

Puppy

[mulesqb]

Thanks Bill - Just coming to some realizations here. I have compromised a lot of my values here and it's finally hitting home.

No she wouldn't intentionally do that - but she is not always seeing what she is doing. The boys feel very neglected by her right now. She doesn't repeatedly do these things - usually has a few good days or a week followed by one or two bad. I won't burn bridges - I think of the word "lovingly" in everything I do now - I think it helps with my tone.

I did just think of the fact that just about ALL of these real bad episodes are premenstrual. That is when she is unbelievably emotional, the last 8 or 9 months in a row.

[mulesqb]

Puppy - Thank you very much!

[mulesqb]

Hey Guys - This has been a pretty emotional day - and an eye opener to say the least. I'm pretty useless here at work right now. I'm gonna catch a train and go home - have a huge lump in my throat. Thanks for everything - you guys are the best! I will get back on later tonite. I need some family time right now.

[goldeylox]

Hi Mule, hope you are feeling better once you get home. I'm new here, lurking. Not too good with the quick quote thing yet, but I saw something familiar in your post which I consolidated below.

In my opinion, just based on reading ALL of your posts on here the last few months, your wife needs some professional help -- preferably, with a psychiatrist.

Thanks Puppy - everyone who knows her thinks she needs it (except of course the neighbors who don't know the real her)- it's just been too drastic a change in personality and appearance...(section edited by Goldey)...She's just so different - has closed everybody out of her life...(section edited by Goldey)...Unless it's possible for a person to drop all values and morals and beliefs they have had for the last 41 and a half years. She was into cooking, family get togethers, seeing her friends at the kids activities, dining out with me, movies both with me and with the kids, church/religion, running/walking, etc...

Has her MD tested her thyroid or other obvious medical reasons for her dramatic personality change? Mine ruled that out before starting me on meds. Puppy, et al, you're all invited over to my thread in Newcomers. I'd welcome your thoughts/feedback because I think I've done some of the stuff your W have done, especially the isolation bit for the last year. Peace.

[The Wifey]

mulesqb

I am just as raw and rough right now. I just have a couple weeks on you is all. Believe me it is still so hard. The aliens have abducted the man I knew as my husband and I don't know if I'll ever get him back.

I'm pretty much useless and about to leave work also.

[faithisbelieving]

mules..my w had 'ideations' once last fall. Coming from a doctor, take them seriously. Bill has more experience on this one though.

If you need any assistance, and I pray not, I am here for you re: D here in NY. Do not leave the house or do anything that can be read as 'abandonment'.

FIB

[faithisbelieving]

ADDED: It will be very rare to find a specific hormonal or chemical issue that one can 'blame' everything on. HOWEVER....it DOES behoove you to suggest that...during this tough time..she should get a good physical examination. They can test T4, T3 and TSH (thyroid hormones)....possibly even FSH (follice stimulating hormone) to see if she is approaching menopause. Don't hang on this as an answer. If something turns up, it may simply make her less 'rollercoasterish'. Sounds like, at the least, she would benefit from an antidepressant and possible a mood stabilizer. FIB

[faithisbelieving]

Mules....I dedicate this link to you. It was originally posted by my friend cire2. When things get dark and gloomy...and you think you've failed as a husband and father....come back to this link....and watch it....and know...you weren't.

God bless. You're doing great. Frank
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gm7XwtIJdM

BTW Bill....when was the last time someone told you you're a wonderful man? Congratulations on your new life with deb. Thanks for your friendship, time and concern.....for me..and my children thank you too.

[mulesqb]

Hey Goldey - Thanks for stopping by - She had a routine physical a few months back and said everything was fine. I don't know if they tested her about that. I am feeling better today - had a good night last night - did some reading here just didn't feel like posting. Will check in on your thread today.