Hey there red. I know for me, it helps to think about creating a new R with W as it's almost inconceivable to turn a VW bus into a race car. I've changed so much and there is so much baggage, that I don't think it's possible for the old R to be fixed. I'm hanging in and growing and hoping W will eventually be ready to try building a new R with me. Yes, the mourning process. There is a smaller part all the time that wants the comfort and security of the old R back, even though it wasn't working for anyone. I think we often delude ourselves thinking that the old R only needed a few tweaks. Most likely, they need melted down and re-forged.
I don't know anything, but, it feels like to me that until we are divorced and seriously involved with other people, then there is hope. As often as I have them, I kill off the thought that it would be easier to quit. Just because I'm walking on air about the personal growth, I can't ever let myself forget the kids and the horrible life I lived that had roots in my parents' divorce.
Hang it there. I think you're doing a great job of things.
