Thanks, Sunny -- I think I have a better picture now.
Simply put, I don't think your husband believes your boundaries, because you haven't enforced them before. So what, instead of not being with you on Thanksgiving, he goes the say AFTER, and spends it with his girlfriend, and that's somehow different? Unless I missed it, there were NO consequences for that incredibly disrespectful decision on his part??
How many times did you backslide and ML with him after you both knew he was having an affair?
Your husband sounds VERY controlling! Let me get this straight: whenever YOU find out he's going to go be with OM (or has been), he whips out "The Offer", threatens that you won't see your son as much, until you're 'nicer' to him??? WTF???
Help me understand your financial situation; how dependent are you on him? Have you met with a good family law attorney to understand what your rights and options are since this whole mess started? Because I have news for your husband -- he doesn't get to dictate what he's willing to "give" you in a divorce; the child support is pretty much a given, is stipulated by some simple financial calculations, and will accompany whoever gets primary custody. And the alimony is a negotiation, and he DOESN'T get to call all the shots.
And depending on what state you live in, you have a 50-90% chance of getting custody of your son, unless I've missed something here? Are you his primary caregiver?
Bottom line, I believe your husband knows you won't do anything, or at least doesn't BELIEVE you will. So he's been cake-eating for a year and a half, at the expense of your dignity and your self-esteem.
