Driving in the car, I used to say "doesn't an ice cream cone sound good ", (I wanted one), he'd say "no, ", (he's trying to lose 5 lbs). I'd be hurt. I thought he'd ask me if I wanted one. I thought he knew I wanted one. I thought he was being unaware of me. I'm sad.
Now:
Driving in the car, I say "I would like an ice cream cone" (I'm taking care of me, I'm being assertive, I'm expressing my wants) he says "okay, that sounds really good actually". I smile. What if he says "no, I don't feel like one", I say "that's okay, but I would".
If you think this is about ice cream, see me after class.
hugs.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
