H deep in A & MLC, need support 4 roller coaster!

[HalfMissing]

My ex never communicated his feelings either. We always joked that he was a Vulcan. (He would raise his eyebrow in response, just like Spock did.) I honestly was happy in my 20 years of marriage and I believe he was too, as much as a depressed man can be happy. Until months before the bomb, he claimed he loved me and we would be together forever.

My ex also agreed to therapy to get me to accept the divorce. At first the MC told me that she thought there was hope for our marriage. Over a few months she finally told me that she thought he had either Aspergers or Shizoid personality disorder because he was so oblivious to his feelings. He could never talk about his thoughts and was emotionally distant our whole marriage. I think his MLC made his personality disorder come out in full force. Because he was so shy and closed, he could only open up to people with the anonymity of these online games. The MC told me that although most marriages fail because of both parties, in my case she thought it was because he was just a broken person. I believe I do share some blame for the problems because I was too controlling and never should have married someone emotionally unavailable. I will not make that mistake again. (New guy shares his thoughts and feelings with me and it is GLORIOUS!)

The MC doubted she could ever fix him, but would continue to work with him to try to develop parenting skills. My ex still sees the C and he does interact with the children now, though he is more like a peer to them than like a parent. Just last night, my D11 mentioned how it is so nice that her father talks to her now, something he never did when he was home. (He can only handle small talk about movies and toys, but it is something.)

I do believe my ex is a good, loving but ill person. I can't fix him and had to get out of the marriage to protect me and the children. I wish you all luck, but encourage you to track your finances and protect yourself. At the very minimum, make copies of everything financial, just in case. At some point, you may want to see a L, just to know how to protect yourself.