I gave as much as I knew how to at the time, which I thought was a lot, but looking back it was fairly inadequate due to my empty love bucket & massive baggage. I believe that is why I ended up exhausted, depressed, & sick with a failing endocrine system.
Now that I'm taking care of myself first, & filling my own love bucket, GAL & healing myself through therapy, I have much more to give, both in quality & quantity.
Being perfectly honest, I'm not giving all that I'm capable of though. Previously, I always put all the energy into the relationship. If I go back to doing that, H may feel that he can put less energy in than he has been.
Our goal is a power equal relationship. I'm matching him, as he's growing & changing. I'm giving him room to grow emotionally while I grow & evolve myself. I think it's working.
did that answer your question ?
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
