How to tell the kids

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Despite the fact that we have been communicating and at the best place we have been in a very long time, my H wants to proceed with the D he filed on 6/23/08. See my previous post for my story. http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...ue#Post1515591. In short, there is so much potential in our relationship but he is afraid things will go back to the way they have always been (my poor financial sense and both being miserable for the past 3-5 years). We haven't told the kids up to this point because he was thinking about his decision and wanted to be sure. He told me this AM that he is sure. I am feeling that we need to tell the kids. We tentatively planned to do it tonight. Our house is for sale and we will be moving. It has been difficult to discuss any of the details of the move, like about the house/property, because of my not knowing if H was going with or not. I had hoped 'we' would tell them about the new house, etc. What I am wondering is how exactly we say it to the kids. Do we say "we have decided not to stay together.." or do we say "daddy has decided that he no longer wants to be married..." I think I already know what the answer is. It's just that if His the one who wants this, he should be able to take the heat so to speak. I don't want the kids to think this D is something I wanted. I want to stay married. Don't my kids deserve to hear that? Or is that being too selfish? I know that is mean towards my H. Maybe it's where I am mentally at this moment.

We did tell the kids a few weeks ago that we were considering getting a D so they know we have been thinking about it. I think they will be surprised when we tell them we are getting a D, because H and I have been talking and getting along probably more and better than they can ever remember! My kids are D15, S13, D11, D11.

What does everyone think? Any advice on how best to do this would be appreciated. My primary concern, of course, is for my kids and what would be in their best interest.

HELP! Thanks in advance..Michele