More and more I'm believing that those kinds of emails or letters really don't do much of anything one way or the other. The fog is so heavy, and her thoughts are so focused on herself, that your opinions and words just don't have that much of an effect.
The good news is that I think that means you don't have to worry about the email.
There was a lot of the "little boy" in that backhanded comment about morning sickness. Those kinds of comments are beneath you, even on your most frustrating days. That's the kind of stuff you think and then swallow before it can come out.
My ex was also sick quite frequently. Let's face it, they are a mess out there, regardless of all the "fun" we think they are having. You would hope that a person could not rip a family apart and float through their existence without a care.
The man taking the high road notices that she's looking under the weather and asks how she is. Maybe comments that she doesn't look well. Then he leaves it alone.
The man taking the high road does not feel the need to justify his remarks with an email, because he speaks with integrity, and is confident of the words coming out of his mouth. He refuses to allow this person who has given him the greatest hurt of his life the power to deliver any further hurt.
You keep telling yourself, she is lost, she is screwed up, and I did NOT cause this, nor is our marriage the reason. She has allowed herself to believe otherwise, but that does not make it so. She has shut me out of her life, so I can't help her. But I would if I could because I do love her and remain committed to her well being.
Our daughter deserves a healthy mother AND father, so I will do what she allows me to do. But I won't wait around for those opportunities, nor will I humiliate myself by begging for them. But I will let her know that I remain here, for the time being anyway, ready to help. Because my love compels me to do this, and my daughter deserves it.
Enjoy the good moments and do your best not to taint them. Lord knows it's hard given the way they behave sometimes. Everytime you have a successful interaction with her, do something nice for you and/or Abby to celebrate. Make it a goal to have every interaction fall into that good category.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
