Agreed NMD...the very fact that we can figure out, identify and classify their behavior and 'stages' that they go thru DOESN'T MEAN IT IS NORMAL OR HEALTHY. IT takes a while for us to realize that WE WERE GOOD HUSBANDS even if many of us were not AAA+++ Academy Award winners.
These were THEIR issues. Their changes.
We tried to save our M's as best we could, but, we can't do it alone. So be it. We grow, learn, and, with luck, hope and prayer, as in your sitch, a better plan comes along. Blessings. Frank
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Agreed NMD...the very fact that we can figure out, identify and classify their behavior and 'stages' that they go thru DOESN'T MEAN IT IS NORMAL OR HEALTHY. IT takes a while for us to realize that WE WERE GOOD HUSBANDS even if many of us were not AAA+++ Academy Award winners.
These were THEIR issues. Their changes.
We tried to save our M's as best we could, but, we can't do it alone. So be it. We grow, learn, and, with luck, hope and prayer, as in your sitch, a better plan comes along. Blessings. Frank
Frank,
Agreed... All except luck...... I do not believe in it.... I prefer to see it as God's hand....
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
You boys are alright. Your perspective helps more than you know. I’m trying so hard to think of things in terms of beginnings and opportunities. To look forward instead of backward. I just miss her. Sounds pathetic, I know. I just miss her so much. I hate going to the grocery store. Shopping for one. Folding t-shirts… that sucks too. It’s not that I have to do my own laundry; it’s that there was once someone who loved me so much that she did it for me.
There’s a lot of love in matching socks…
Me: 35 WAW: 28 Bomb: 1/13/08 S: 1/14/08 D filed: 2/24/08 D final on 7/07/08
Do your damndest in an ostentatious manner all the time. -George S. Patton
My Sitch http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1405138&page=0&fpart=1
Nothing like buying a new pair of socks..that fresh feel. You'll be OK.
Ask yourself.....what do you miss?
Getting your socks folded?
What REALLY do you miss? Her? Or do you dislike being alone?
Think...and grow. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Not pathetic at ALL! One of the gals I met put it in perspective. She said, "It is so very attractive to see how much you can love a woman." We, as men, do not see loving deeply as being attractive... Rather, we see it as weakness..... That is soo wrong! Women find it VERY attractive........
For me, I simply missed the woman I grew to love more and more each day for 15 years........ It was not what she did for me.... It was simply being with her.... I, too, hated doing anything we used to do together without her...
I came to realize she was not the woman I thought she was.... WAIT.... She was not even 1/10 the woman I thought she was..... That, as I wrote many times before, is the real kicker....
Take Care,
NMD
Last edited by No_More_Dodo; 07/15/0807:45 PM.
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
So my anniversary is today. Or would have been today. I broke down and called her. I should not have done that. She was obviously uncomfortable and clearly didn’t give a damn. I continue to torture myself. I am an idiot.
Me: 35 WAW: 28 Bomb: 1/13/08 S: 1/14/08 D filed: 2/24/08 D final on 7/07/08
Do your damndest in an ostentatious manner all the time. -George S. Patton
My Sitch http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1405138&page=0&fpart=1
So my anniversary is today. Or would have been today. I broke down and called her. I should not have done that. She was obviously uncomfortable and clearly didn’t give a damn. I continue to torture myself. I am an idiot.
OL,
You are NOT an idiot! You are just processing this and working through it.... This takes time... It will get better....
Take Care,
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
I feel you pain OL. It takes time for this to go away. Even Michele says that 'backslides' happen...even after D. Work it out..get out and run. I understand because I'm on the way to being in the same place you are. Try and let go. Get Gray's book and try and grieve and move forward. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
"If you are going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill
It is sound advice....
Take Care,
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
Thanks NMD...I'm having a bad day myself today....I needed that. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I prefer to see it as God's hand....