I was so sorry to read your story. I know that this OW in SL provides some kind of satisfaction to my H, although it still baffles me that he needs to find this connection in a fake world. I do think my H feels some abivalence about real life vs. fake life, but he can't abandon the latter until he deals with his emotions and issues in real life. So, I wait. Until he's ready. Or until I lose it. But right now I am prepared to wait.
He has agreed to MC, but only to pacify me and I believe initially he agreed so someone would tell him how to get out of here without emotionally crippling by me and our D. But I refuse to go right now, until I am in a better place to deal with this all (I'm in IC) and until we are in a better place where he doesn't see me as the evil wife who kept him back in some way. Right now, I DB and IC and we'll see where it goes in the coming weeks.
I know he won't give up Second Life right now. If I gave him that ultimatum, SL would win. So instead, I just put up with it, as long as he's giving the slightest bit of daily interaction to my D, who I believe needs her Dad around right now. As for me, I look for baby steps. I know deep down that my H is a good, loving person and I do believe that the guilt of the situation will win over in the end. How long will that take? I don't know.
Right now he's definitely messed up. I feel bad that our problems were not tackled before he was seduced by SL women, but he never expressed his true emotions to me. So I can't beat myself up too much out that. I can only DB, hope and pray that he sees the light.
M 39 H 34 D 6 M almost 8 years T 11 years Bomb: 6/5/08
