That is good that she is reaching out to you for everyday things! But take it with a grain of salt because we know how they can flip-flop once they realize that they are opening up!
Keep it real and try not to read into things. Let her keep contacting you. This could be a good thing but like I said do not get your hopes up!
My hopes never raise now....I found it more intriging than anything...but a small step.
Tonight I can say I had fun....and Abby too. I hung out with my oldest friend (from High School). We've kept in touch over the years but not the last two. We used to hang out together with our families but his W was a little strange. Both come from religious background (everything through the church) and my W and I have never been. So we slowly drifted apart.
Tonight though was fun. They couldn't believe Abby. I told them she was shy, picky eater and quiet. It was a different Abby. She gobbled down dinner, played with their two Ss 4 and 1, and was simply cute. We had a great time, we talked, played and relaxed. The boys went to bed and Abby just entertained herself while we talked. They only tried to recruit us once for church. Great to get back together...we hugged and made plans to go golfing next week and hiking with the fams. His W was awesome....I don't remember them being so laid back. Very relaxing and Abby told my friend when we were leaving that he "loved" him. So adorable. Besides graduation, I've never been so proud of her. Tears come to my eyes when I think of how grown up she's getting.
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
Another day and another meet up with old friends. Went to the b-day of the D of someone I worked with for 4 years. She's got a 3 year old and what a suprise she's alread divorced. Four years ago W and I went to her wedding. Actually the company where I used to work for had a pretty tight knit group. We used to get together once a month and hang out. After I left, it seemed everyone split up and got divorced, three couples. I remember about 2 years ago joking that I was next. Hmmm!
Anyway Abby had another great day....all that worry about her shyness is gone. Two days and two great and beautiful Abbys. She got so mad at me for wanting to go home....4 hours was long enough and daddy was tired. Then Abby gets her second wind when the neighbor was home. So Abby, her friend and her friends little sister decided to play in our house for three hours. Oh boy! I couldn't take anymore little girl voices.
Great side effect....she went to sleep in 30 seconds.
W called and proceeded to talk to me about her day and ask about our old friends. Another 15min call. Don't understand but I really don't mind hearing from her. Its nice and its not at the same time. Guess I'll take it slow.
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
Hey AD that is great that Abby is opening up around people!!
Any good conversation you can have with the W is good, take them as they are. I have not spoken to mine in 3 days now Ever since I saw her put the retainer in for the lawyer.
Its been a good weekend so far with D. Everyone says I'm doing such a great job and its nice to hear. I love that little girl. Today especially was nice because my old friend new the way I used to be.
Ted, sorry things aren't going well for you. Try to stay positive. You never know how things will turn around.
Here's a question. W gotta a fixit ticket today because she can't pay her registration. Should I loan her the money? It does effect me because she takes Abby to school almost everyday.
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
For something like this I would say ya lend her the money to get it paid. But for anything else maybe not as generous with the cash. Just my .02, feel your way around and see if she might bring it up that maybe you could lend her the money?
AD- I would let her ask for the $.......... but don't try to solve her problem by trying to help her. AGain, it's a fine line to travel, but i see your point. But, its her problem, not yours. While it does affect Abby, if your W is going to act like a responsible Parent, then this could be a nice lesson for her to learn....
maybe that doesn't make sense, but.....
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
She did ask me last night...she gets quarterly bonuses and is due for one in August. She said she'd pay me back then. Hmmm. Funny how she has this rich Dad and besides helping her with the deposit a couple months ago, has never given her anything. The guy makes 7 figures!!!
If she asks again I'll let her have it.
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
Not much going on. Actually lots of communication with W but same ole. MIL buckled again and took Abby to school this morning (although W was off). She volunteered so whatever. She'll be gone in a month and she can voluteer from 300 miles away all she wants.
I was downloading Itunes music this evening and W called. "Are you home? Abby and I have been knocking for 5mins!" I raced downstairs shirtless and told her I was downloading tunes. So Abby raced to her room to play and we chatted in the kitchen. I can tell W was taking a peek at my body (Why not, I've lost 45lbs and my triceps are amazing....haha). We talked for a while and then she asked if I need my can opener. I was like yeah! But she asked if she could borrow it. Whatever, just take it.
I like how she leaves but can't go buy the things she needs. Hmmm!
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
Well I don't know if this is a backslide or what. But W has been open to talking a lot more lately.
She showed up early to pick up Abby today and she looked awful. She's been sick off and on for a week now and with all the stories on here about OP being pregnant, I was a little worred. So I texted her "that I hope she doesn't have morning sickness." She replied "shut up". I said I wasn't trying to be mean but I was just worried. She said its impossible plus she just got her period.
I felt bad because I was just worried. I don't know what she's been up to and I've been detaching for a month. Plus, she has had a tough time.
So I sent her an email...here it is.
"Just to clarify, I wasn’t trying to be mean. You didn’t look good and I know you’ve been feeling bad off and on so I was worried. Honestly, I don’t know much about your life so I don’t what you’ve been doing lately. I know I said I didn’t want us to do family stuff together because it puts me in a bad “hangover” state. I might get past that. And you think I hate you but it’s far from that. I’ve cared about you for ten years so that can’t change overnight.
The past is the past and I can’t change that either, but I still am your friend, M%%%, so if you want to talk, grab coffee and or even see a movie, just ask (I’ll try to fit it into my busy schedule). I know you’ve been struggling with things and don’t for a second think I enjoy that. I’m still here if you need a friend. I hope you have a good day.
Should I have sent it?
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
Ever since I saw her put the retainer in for the lawyer.