I know you are well aware of my sitch, but thought I'd put it down in a timeline. We read so often that we should not follow timelines, but from my own observations, it seems like A's last and/or couples are either separated +/- 6 months OR around 2-3 years.
11/05: EA starts 5/06: variation of ILYBINILWY 7/06: S after I find evidence of A. H and ogre move in together shortly after. H is confused, very distant, alien eyes. H basically goes crazy deep into replay. 1/06: H says M is over. I start DB, H continues to lie/deny and remains distant. 12/07: H admits to friend that what he's doing is wrong. Somewhat less distant interaction with H over the following 6 months. 4/08: I make a decision to create warm and fuzzy feelings with H when possible (and FINALLY grasp DB concepts), figure out and am comfortable with what I want. 7/08: H starts opening up more, seems more receptive to me. Takes more responsibility, initiates contact more often than previously. Beginning of friendship? (Also worth noting is that his new business has really started to take off, which could be affecting his mood.)
No signs of regret or ever trying to return in 2 years.
I wouldn't call it a shift toward home, but in general, H is more open about most things (except his personal life).
I'd like to think it's the start of an awakening, but who knows. I do know that I am much more at peace with what's happened over the last 2+ years. I'm more confident in what I'm doing and know what it is that I want. I'm also very aware that there are no guarantees that I will get what I want with my H. And that's ok...
