Yes, I am so glad you changed that!! lol S12 is acting out majorly and I told him enough, he has been in trouble off and on during this whole incident. We had a major talk ...the kids and I. I called H and told him I needed him to come and deal with him but H just started whining about other cr@p. "I shouldn't be dictating to him about how to handle problems with S12 and I said look, you have been dictating to me how things were going to be the last 2 years so let's not even go there. You aren't here 24/7 so I don't think you know what I do say to the kids or how I deal with them.
Uggghhh, just more things I don't need. He wants me to back him but he wont back me. I have basically done 90% of the parenting this far and now he expects to hop in and tell me what to do and what I am doing wrong. Give me a break!!! I just needed some help!!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I have basically done 90% of the parenting this far and now he expects to hop in and tell me what to do and what I am doing wrong. Give me a break!!! I just needed some help!!
kat
I have the same thing with my H! I've done 90% of the parenting but he thinks when he is occasionally here that he is a much better parent than I! At least I'm here for them and do it, and of course I'm not perfect. If our Hs were doing 90% of the parenting they would realize how truly tough it is, not just breezing in for an hour or two here and there!!!! Karen
H thinks he is such a great parent and I know it would just kill him to not spend time with them. I am not suggesting I would do that, just saying he doesn't get it. H has pushed for all this time with the kids and then he doesn't even keep them for anywhere near the time he has said in the petition that he wants them.
Now if a house would just land on him!!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Well, you live in the right state for that at least??? I think of that quote that I think it was Lodo said on my thread about H doesn't want to be thought of as a bad guy, doesn't want to be a good guy, but doesn't want to be thought of as a bad guy, and I'm thinking your H is maybe like that: doesn't want others to think of him as a bad dad, but doesn't really want do the work necessary to be a really good dad? Like the hours he has spelled out but then doesn't use them makes me think that might be true? Karen
Karen, I love how you always make statements with questions!! Yes he is a prat. I spent so much of my married life not talking about anything bad regarding H and so maybe I didn't "feel" how things were at times. Lesson learned.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Can someone explain why all of this legal mumbo jumbo has to sound like I want this? They act like they are doing everyone a favor! Well in reality they may be doing me a favor but come on. Just venting, I am exhausted. Not enough sleep this weekend.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I don't know kat, but I feel the same way. I hated how my divorce decree says "irreconsilable (sure I spelled that wrong) differences have came between the husband and wife. Neither party believes that reconciliaton was possible..." Whatever! Yeah, we don't get along because he was/is having an affair and wouldn't leave the OW. I always thought we could get back together if he was just willing to end all contact with her. They make it sound like we had a little spat and decided we couldn't get along. I hate how the whole thing is worded because it doesn't say "H cheated and treated W badly. W worked as hard as she could to restore the M."
Hang in there kat. I haven't gotten enough sleep in 8 long months, so I understand.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
H cheated and treated W badly. W worked as hard as she could to restore the M."
Couldn't agree more! When we had our second appt, the mediator spotted two questions I didn't answer on the petition (2 questions about the marriage not being repairable). I told her I didn't know how to answer them honestly and she said "Well, you don't need a divorce then". Hmph. Also, I am uncomfortable because we had to 'fib' about our last sexual encounter/separation time. But it won't change my focus, just made me feel odd.
Karen, I love how you always make statements with questions!! Yes he is a prat. I spent so much of my married life not talking about anything bad regarding H and so maybe I didn't "feel" how things were at times. Lesson learned.
kat
Oh, yeah that was a lot of ?s. Well, it's just that sometimes I feel like I know you and some others here so well, and maybe I kind of don't really, so I don't want to say something that might not be true--you know??? Ok, the last one was a joke!!! Karen
Karen