Mulesqb - Can the sun shine on a donkey's a$$?

[faithisbelieving]

That stupid word 'detaching' is what comes into play then....to get off her rollercoaster. She's going to throw things at you that come out of nowhere now. Be prepared for these 'outbursts' and don't lose your cool nor lay too much on her. She IS confused and hurting now. WE must stay steady.

It's OK to tell her how you feel as said above. You are not alone. I have said the same things to my W, but, don't forget they can see you too. Women are like bloodhounds...they can sniff out your anger and emotions. When I first got here I used DB Chuck for awhile and he said that even if you are 'not angry' in tone, you can appear angry. You need to find that place of release. She needs to see you strong, leading...without anger. Find something to do that releases that. Do you play music? Any projects to do with the kids? Any beaches to go for a walk?

The more I tried to 'fix' my M...to make her SEE things my way...to APPEAR X way to her....it did nothing. I enabled her behavior. The more I 'threw in the towel'...the more I saw positive responses, mostly too late.

You have no control over her....you only control your attitudes and actions. Look less mad by BEING less angry. Act by looking after yourself, letting go of her and fixing her and focusing on your kids.

FIB