Naej, It's hard to answer your question. Prior to the separation, we hardly had a social life. We were possibly codependent, as they say. Neither one of us was good at connecting with people.
It's hard to know if the privacy concerns reflect her issues or relational ones. I think you're right to assume that it's relational to some extent. It possibly reveals her ambivalence about risking intimacy in the M.
Whatever the source, I'm not comfortable having a party as partners at this time, given her requests for privacy. I'm not going to downplay my relational status with her in my own home, as you say.
She said that she would consider having a party, if I were away for the weekend. I suppose that would be the current compromise.
I'm back in the bedroom. She did cuddle with me last night.
In my poetry guidebook, "Writing the Australian Crawl," by William Stafford, he talks about the process of writing as similar to swimming. In order to swim, one must trust that they will float, and relax in the water. Writing is the same way.
I'm going to guess that relationships are similar too. In Piecing, at some point we have to be willing to relax "in the R" in order to to allow intimacy.
It's interesting that I've alway had trouble learning to swim. I've taken lessons over the years, but always sink. I've never become comfortable in the water.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
