It's really kind of hard to detach. She is on my mind all the time regardless of what I am doing. I keep busy and am active. Its also kind of hard to DB and NOT think about her especially while reading DB and DR in between. Of course I am focused on her, she's my wife, the mother of my children, my best friend. She is going through something internally and I'm really worried about her.
Also keep in mind that we have no contact. We don't talk so my online posts are really the only way she has access to anything I am doing.
I'll tell you flat out regardless of what it says in DR or what others have posted on here. If I did not post online and if I simply stayed totally dark on her she would just get pushed right into this OM. I already saw that happening in the past and the distance that was approaching fast when I "wasn't doing anything". I'm all for GAL and working on me, which I am, but I'm also committed to working to save our friendship and marriage too.
I know that DB is about changing yourself and not the other person. I'm not trying to change her. Hell, she is in some kind of funk that has turned her into another person. I'm just simply posting for my sanity as well as to post some stuff that she might absorb and stew on. I know just by how she has talked to me in the past that she is seeing everything negatively, she is focused on past negatives. I simply post about positives, the future, what I'm doing etc.
Like I said - I can "talk" now and know that she will listen even though it's indirectly. That is an advantage in my situation. Without my online posts and other pages she would basically be ignoring me and moving on with this OM and have zero contact with me.
- Scott
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