“You also have some investigative work to do. No, I don’t mean snooping around to find out what is really going on. Since you can’t approach your spouse with any information you discover, you are only hurting yourself by snooping. You need to figure out what is so darn appealing about this OP. Do they have a great sex life whereas yours has been paltry? Does s/he flatter your spouse a great deal, building his/her ego? Is s/he spontaneous, willing to do things at the spur of the moment, when you like to have thigns planned months in advance? Is s/he a good listener, always interested in what your spouse needs to say?
OK, I've found out about the OW in the online EA. One of the things she does is send my H songs (not her own) that he might like and poems (her own, I think).
Does this mean I should be writing him poetry or love letters? It's not impossible for me to do -- I'm a trained writer. But would that be overstepping the bounds, making him feel pressured? Essentially a poem would be R talk, I know, but if getting something like this makes him feel better, should I be doing something similar?
M 39 H 34 D 6 M almost 8 years T 11 years Bomb: 6/5/08
