Meeting WAS for first time. Any advice?

[christarn]

MaxP~


"One thing that people do say can precipitate a sudden change in an R are unresolved issues surrounding a death. As you mention, that may be a factor in your R. I wonder how much it affected my W when her uncle died. She started talking less and less to me and saying some odd stuff and I think started talking more and more to her friends. They became more the kind of people she felt she had things in common with and I became less so in her eyes. It's hard when your wife / best friend decides to confide in others, not you."

I did the exact same thing to my H toward the end of our R...I felt like he didn't care....it had been two years since my dad died and 6 for my mother...he made me feel like I should have been "over" it was such a hard time in my life...I look back in retrospect; the mean angry monster as I refer to myself is who I was during that time....I had so much anger....anger within myself...I was grieving...still am...and I felt as if he didn't comprehend what i was going thru and was not there for me emotionally....it just plain sucked....but most of it was just my depression...which i'm being treated for now....I guess what I'm getting at, is your W may have some issues regarding her uncle's death that she has not dealt with, she may have some underlying issues within herself...just my 2 cents....


I feel your pain on the children...everyone around me is having children...I hate it...I tell everyone I will be 65 when I have my first child...it will be some type of miracle! I joke about it..but inside, I hate it...when we were first starting to have issues, H was ready, I wasn't...I was going to school...working FT, it wasn't the "right" time...crazy how life works...I guess God knew where we were going, glad I didn't have a child to put threw this.

"There is so much fallout from this process. Emotional, financial (right now), for me there's been some career stuff, loss of friends, loss of a future, loneliness, feeling like a failure - but also positives to do with reconnecting and learning about how to behave and what you want. The price of those things needn't be so high though."

I also feel your pain on this as well. I miss so many of our friends. I feel like they are stuck in the middle! The price is sooooo high. I just wish My H would see it...he is sooooo angry, I wish there was something I could do to help him get past his anger....but that is something he has to do on his own.

I'm happy to help if I can...this forum is pretty unique...let me know! There used to be a couple more WAW's on here, I don't know where they disappeared to...I will try my best to answer what I can!!


take care
christa