What to do when you miss your cheating W?

[Sugar and Spice]

Freak as well. I am SO in the same boat as you. When H is around for the most part he is affectionate and there is physical contact, but I have to be careful because the troll has cooties...lol (not really funny). H sends mixed signals all the time and generally makes my brain hurt because its just all so confusing. I have offered to give him a D and he refuses, but will not say whether or not he intends to come home.

I would love nothing more for him to stop seeing the Troll, but my H has the distinct disadvantage of being a completely hopelessly addicted gambler, so that further complicates an already completely jacked up situation. If H announced he was coming home tomorrow, there would have to be some serious negotiations before I would even consider it. I still love him like crazy and it makes my heart hurt to think of everything that he is throwing away, but I can't control it...just me.

Honestly, the physical stuff now, is for my personal gratification only. I agree with Puppy, its not in anyway shape for form beneficial to my situation, but I can handle doing it on my terms and as long as I can, I will when I choose to, when I can't handle it, I don't. (((HTTE)))