Confused and Bewildered

[7 Year Itch]

OK, I'm just WAY so happy right now. I need to be brought down to reality so I don't get overly excited. But wow, what a great afternoon and evening!

OK, so H came home about 4:30 with the girls from swimming, and they had fallen asleep in his truck on the way home. HE came in to let me know he was going to let them sleep in there awhile (it was nice and cool with an overcast, and remember we live on acreage in the country.Didn't want anyone thinking we are nuts). Anyway, so he came in, and we were laughing about our phone escapades again. And next thing I know, we are going crazy with each other, and ML, and it wasn't akward, or bad,...he didn't get weird afterward. Nothing. In face we kept laughing because one of us would pop up and lookoutside every few minutes to make sure the girls hadn't woken up. LOL

Anyway, so we have that, and decide we better wake the girls up so they sleep tonight. Well, I guess he was going to take them for icecream but since they fell asleep that fell through. So of course when they woke up home they started freaking out. So he looked at me and said......... I'll stay for dinner and we can go for icecream afterwards. YAY!

So I'm all excited, and next thing I know I hear D6 say, I want Mommy to come for icecream too. I FULLY expect him to say no, and he says. "she can come too". WOW!

So we had a nice dinner, went for icecream (it was good time), then drove home. On the way home D6 got upset and started telling Daddy she wanted him to stay for a sleepover, and that she wanted him home, she needed him etc. It broke my heart. So I spoke up and said "Honey, Daddy needs to go home to take care of the dogs (the dogs of the owners of the house he is staying with. They are on vacation, so he is taking care of the dogs), but maybe sometime soon, Daddy can come and put the pop up out in the yard, and you guys can have a backyard campout. I thought this would be cool for him to be HERE with them, but I'd still be in the house. Anyway, he said "yeah, and I want to really go camping in August". So I looked at him and mouthed "I wanna go! " and he looked at me and said....... "we'll see, ok".

So then we get home and I gave him a hug before he left and thanked him for letting me go for icecream with them. I then told him the last few days had been really nice. So then I looked at him (very non DB move) and said.. "has any of it been nice for you?" To which he says. "Well, it hasn't been horrible" to which I said... "GEE, THANKS! And gave a smirk, then I pinched his butt". I just made light of it,then I said. "no, there have just been moments that for the first time in 3 months felt almost normal. IT's been so long for anything to feel normal.". HE then looked at me and said. "we'll see".

So I have NO idea what has flipped. And I KNOW there is a very real chance he'll lose his mind in the next couple of days and revert ,but I'm really getting the feeling that FINALLY he may have some real doubt in this mind for the first time. If he files this week, I'm going to lose it, because he is now not indicating that at all.

I guess time will tell. For tonight though, I'm just over the moon. So I guess I'll enjoy it for now.

Oh, I did have another good 180 moment today that got his attention. I was at my friend's house for dinner Sat night. She has horses. And we made plans to go riding. I haven't ridden in years. I had some really bad horse experiences, and haven't really gotten back on. But I feel the need right now to try to face all my fears, so we made plans to go out next week. I was telling D6 who rides her horses all the time about it ,and my H looked at me and said. "What, YOU are going to go riding?". I just smiled and said "Yep, and I'm really excited!". I could tell it got his attention.

Chris