WAW is full steam ahead

[LosingSunshine]

Well, feeling kind of low tonight. I had a great evening with the kids and they were surprisingly well behaved. I managed to pick up the house and got the laundry done. I even steamed my Ws shirts to touch upon the acts of service LL. I did this the first weekend of the sitch and haven't since. Just curious to see what kind of response I get.

So at one point tonight, I went to our computer room and saw some printouts of various apt complexes that W is looking at. She can only afford a 2 bedroom for her and the 2 kids and it just hit me like a ton of bricks.

Everything that I have worked so hard to achieve to be able to provide the best for the kids was for nothing. Sure, I will be buying my W out of the house and keeping it but it just bothers me that she would rather that she thinks that would be a better environment than what that have now. I am half that they will be here 2 weeks every month if the D goes through but I always wanted to give so much for my kids, to provide experiences my W AND I never had and it will all be gone. Just sad.

And I know she sees the alternative as being better than what the M was. I know but I wish. I pray. I pray every night that God gives her his grace so that she can find the courage for herself, for us and for the kids.

I am also sad that my precious children will be the ones that will have the hardest time adjusting and coping with this.

Chris