Is W in MLC

[yenko69]

I sure don't feel to calm most of the time. I have found peace in the fact that after the D talk I wrote her about a ten page letter. I did not make excuses about my part of our M problems. I just felt that I should explain to her what was going on with me when our M started going downhill.

I have been reading here for awhile so I did use some techniques with the last LS talk. I told her that I could not agree with a LS, but I was not going to fight her. She could do what she thought she needed to do. That I had no control over her actions, just myself and my reactions. I also said that I loved and respected her enough that if I had to let her go I would. But, I was not going against my beliefs and file on my own. She also said that she was a "bad" wife, being mean, looking for attention I was not given her. No A though.

We did not talk for a couple days and then talked with her again. Wrote her another letter. Just two pages this time. I did think quite a bit after two days and decided what was best for me. The best thing for me was to forgive her for her transgressions during the marriage and let the hurt and anger go. That part I told her face to face and also wrote it. Wrote her that the most important person she can forgive is herself (her guilt,ect). Got the "why do you have to be so nice" again. I told her I married her for better or worse and that is what I was going to stick by until I no longer had an option. Brought a tear to her eye.

I am glad IMP that you don't BS. Have enough already. It is tough and I have been all over the place. I try and let the hurt and anger go and keep going forward in a positive direction.

When it gets bad and I do want to give up I try and remember a couple things. That whether she is here or not in a couple years I will always have to face myself in the mirror. If I do everything I can then at the end no matter what, I can continue forward with my life with no regrets.

I do think that D16 has some bearing on this. More on that later. To her credit my W never bought into the allegations and has always defended me against them. D16 pissed off a lot of people, mostly my W's side of the family.

IMP I will try and look up your thread. 3 weeks posting, seems more like 3 months. Peace, thanks for your post. It is helpful. Just good to know there are people out there going through the same thing and the support on her.