Your feelings are common. You are not a freak, you are a loving husband who misses his marriage and his wife.
She may have devastated you, and kicked you when you were down, but you have an unconditional love for her.
I think we need to know more. Is she living with the OM now? Has she delivered papers to you? SHe is hugging and kissing you, are there are "signs" or words that make you think she is still in limbo about her future?
