If you know your wife is insecure in the past, then please listen for a moment: insecurity does not mean love. It is not derived from love. Jealousy does not mean love, either.
Therefore, the stuff you are doing in order to make your wife insecure, is not going to make her "realize" her love for you. It may seem like love when she is stalking you on-line all day, but it isn't really. In fact, it may make her more determined to get with the OM so she can throw it in your face to "pay you back" for the things you are doing online (this is how many insecure people think.)
The route you are going is not likely to take you to the place you really want to be.
That's just my two cents. I hope you will listen. I know it feels good to think "hey, she's watching me, she must still have some feelings for me". But really, that just isn't the way it is.
I know this is nothing like your sitch but just to give you an idea of what I am saying...
I used to date a guy that was crazy jealous and insecure. We only dated for a few months. At the time it didnt bother me that much because we were just dating, nothing serious. But when we broke up I was a bit sad because I did like him. So I updated my on-line profile knowing he would check it out, and I put things in there that would make him jealous, hoping it would cause him to call me.
Well, months later, I was over him, dating someone else, I had kind of forgotten about him. Then he contacted me out of the blue with a question about something, so we had a chance to talk.
In our talk, he revealed that he was seeing someone else. I was happy for him and I was seeing someone, too. When I told him that, he said "great, thanks, I wish you wouldn't have told me that". I'm like "what? You are dating someone to, what's the big deal?" Then he tried to explain to me that the jealousy doesn't have anything to do with his feelings for me. The jealousy was all about HIM and his own mind and feelings of inadequacy. It didn't matter that he didn't love me or want to see me anymore, it was all about his own inner problems and insecurites.
So...do you want your wife to love you and show love for you, or do you want to just stir up her insecurites and feelings of inadequacy? Because the latter two is all you are doing.
